The Startup Madness
Escaping the cult of overwork before it ruins your life
For over two decades, I’ve watched the internet startup world evolve. The tech changed. The platforms changed. The funding trends shifted. But one thing hasn’t changed at all: the culture of sacrifice. That same toxic mindset that tells you that unless you’re suffering, you’re not doing it right. That success only comes to those who are willing to bleed for it. That startups are noble, brave missions that justify everything, including a complete disregard for your health, time and relationships.
This narrative is seductive. It’s built into every pitch night, every success story, every LinkedIn post from a newly minted CEO. But the reality behind the scenes is far more bleak. For most founders, the startup world is a vortex. A system designed to extract every ounce of energy and value from them, with no guarantee of return.
A World Inside a Dome
What makes startup culture so dangerous is how insular it is. Once you're in, it's hard to see out. It becomes normal to work 14-hour days, to skip holidays, to miss out on family moments, to neglect your health. Everyone around you is doing the same. You’re celebrated for “grinding”. You’re rewarded with praise and the illusion of progress. Investors love how committed you are. Your peers admire your hustle. And you start believing the lie: that this is the only way.
But that dome creates blindness. You stop questioning if it’s even worth it. You forget what life outside of this bubble looks like. You’re constantly under pressure: from your co-founders, your team, your investors, the media. You chase metrics that don’t matter and ignore the things that do. You lose touch with why you started in the first place.
The Cost No One Talks About
Startups don’t just fail. They burn people. Emotionally. Physically. Financially. And in many cases, that damage is permanent. I’ve seen founders struggle for a long time with the aftermath of their early startup years. I’ve seen relationships suffer, and people lose their sense of direction because so much of their identity was wrapped up in a business that eventually failed.
And here’s the brutal irony: most of these founders never even make money. Many end up in debt. Others walk away with scraps. Even the ones who succeed often look back and wonder if it was worth it. The company made it, but they didn’t.
Why This Keeps Happening
The startup ecosystem is built to benefit a few and use the many. Venture capital is a numbers game. Investors expect most of their portfolio companies to fail. The goal is to find one or two outliers that pay for everything else. That’s the game. You, the founder, are a bet. If you burn out, there are a dozen more behind you. The system doesn’t care. The incentives are not aligned with your wellbeing. They’re aligned with exits.
This culture is perpetuated because it serves those at the top. The platforms, the accelerators, the funds, the big names. The ones who get to tell you how “worth it” the sacrifice is. What they don’t tell you is that their success usually came at the expense of hundreds who were just as talented, just as driven, but not as lucky.
The Myth of the Lone Founder
Another part of the startup mythology is that it’s all up to you. You’re the founder, the hero, the visionary. Everything depends on your ability to endure. That’s why most founders don’t ask for help. They don’t say no. They don’t stop. And eventually, they break. Because no one can carry that weight alone. And no one should have to.
Yet this image is reinforced by the community, the events, the stories we consume. You’re supposed to suffer. You’re supposed to push through. You’re supposed to be the one who never quits. And if you do quit, you’re forgotten. You’re a ghost. No one from your startup days is there when you need help. Maybe one or two people. But the rest? They move on. The machine keeps spinning.
A Better Way to Build
There is another way. One that doesn’t involve burning out or sacrificing your life. It starts with shifting the goal. What if you didn’t chase investment or scale? What if your goal wasn’t growth at any cost but freedom? Time? Peace of mind?
A profitable, sustainable business that gives you flexibility and independence is infinitely more valuable than a venture-backed rocket ship that ends in a crash. You don’t need to impress investors. You don’t need to have a 100-person team. You don’t need to raise millions. What you need is a business that works for you.
You can build slow. You can build small. You can design your work around your life, not the other way around. And you’ll still be an entrepreneur. You’ll still be a builder. But you’ll be free.
Rethinking Success
The startup world measures success in rounds raised, team size, valuation, media mentions. But none of those things guarantee happiness, freedom or financial stability. Real success is having control over your time. It’s being able to spend your day doing work you enjoy, without anxiety and without pretending to be someone you’re not.
You don’t need to be in the rat race. You don’t need to be in the dome. You can walk away. You can choose to build a simple, profitable business that gives you back your life. And ironically, that’s the kind of business that often lasts.
A Call to Sanity
If you’re in the middle of the startup storm, take a breath. Step back. Ask yourself what you really want. Ask yourself what price you’re paying, and whether it’s worth it. Don’t wait until you’re completely burned out to realise you’ve been chasing the wrong thing.
The industry won’t change. The system is what it is. But you can change. You can decide not to play by those rules. You can opt out.
Let others chase the dream of the next unicorn. Let others live inside the dome. You can choose to build something quiet, simple, real. Something that works. Something that lasts. Something that gives you time.
Because at the end of the day, that’s the most valuable asset you have. Not money. Not fame. Not validation from LinkedIn or TechCrunch.
Time.
Use it well.
